Tuesday 8th June 2021
By Janine Green, WISH Midlands Board Member
Sometimes in life we have difficult decisions to make; decisions that lead to us having to move on from something that we really love. This is what happened to me during the end of 2019, when I found myself sending an email to the Chair of WISH Midlands, telling them that I needed to step down as a Board Member, a decision that I had been wrestling with for a number of weeks.
The realisation that I had to make this decision dawned during a recruitment drive that we were having to attract new board members. I found myself explaining to the applicants that commitment to the role, whilst voluntary, was so important; that we wanted to ensure that WISH Midlands continued to offer maximum value for membership, really meeting our objectives of empowering, supporting and developing women, and tackling inequality in the workplace.
Yet, a voice in the back of my head was shouting the word ‘hypocrite’ increasingly loudly.
I had just ventured out into the, quite frankly, terrifying world of self-employment and was working long hours to try and make sure that I could pay my mortgage at the end of the month. Coupled with this, I was mentally struggling. I make no secret about my experiences with imposter syndrome – that nagging voice inside me that says I’m not good enough; will be uncovered as a fraud or have no credibility. Whilst ever present, the volume of that inner voices rises and falls. I know that when I am eating well, exercising regularly, getting consistent sleep and (dare I say) not relying on a nightly glass of wine to mark the end of a challenging day, the voice is quiet and easily argued down, with reason and evidence of my capability. When I am scared or experiencing periods of change, I often stop the things that are good for me and the volume of the voice gets cranked up to such a level that it drowns out the rational side of my brain and makes common sense difficult.
I simply didn’t have the time or the energy to give to anything other than my paid work. It feels selfish to say that but it’s the truth.
Flash forward to present day and I am super proud to say that my business is blossoming. My mental health still fluctuates during certain periods of challenge (hello global pandemic!) but my coping mechanisms are much stronger.
As a result, I am super excited to be re-joining the WISH Midlands board (thank you ladies, for welcoming me back). The ethos and purpose of WISH is so central to my core beliefs; celebrating our successes, challenging inequality and coming together to support each other. The comfort I take when I speak to women who share my experiences with anxiety and imposter syndrome cannot be underestimated, and WISH is a safe space to share our experiences and get this support.
I cannot wait to get back to arranging more brilliant events (some that will be in-person!) and hopefully sharing some of things that have helped me through the last few years, both in terms of growing a business and a brand, and also in relation to working on me and my emotional wellbeing.
I hope to reconnect or meet with you very soon – if you’re not a WISH member, but the above resonates in anyway, then do look at attending one of our events.
They say that you should never look back; I say, rules are there to be broken!
Find out more about Janine at https://www.janinegreenasb.co.uk/.
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